Its been a while

 Hello there, if anyone is still following me, I'm back on my blog.

Quite a lot has been happening in that past 6 years. 

I managed to go back to work for a while, survived the pandemic without catching covid, and worked 60 hour weeks during lock-down as everyone else kept getting ill.

Now I've been effectively retired for that past year. Burnt myself out physically and mentally during lock-down and couldn't get over my worsening physical health issues. Despite my best efforts i just couldn't get my body to do what 'i need it to do to continue doing my job.

So here I am, unemployed, unemployable - probably - and skint. But I'm making more, knitting and crochet, occasionally drawing and enjoying the process of making for the sake of it.

Life does get lonely and occasionally boring. But, and its a big but, i'm happier than I have been in a long time, maybe ever. I wake up mostly looking forward to my day, not disappointed I'm not dead. 

I've had some losses along the way. Gaia passed away at the grand old age of 14, still a madam, still a pirate princess. Before losing Gaia, Lexi, Sassy's half sister came along. Beautiful, quiet, shy girl, who was as stubborn as a mule. She lost her leg in freak accident on the field, but that never stopped her being feisty or loving. I lost her last year, arthritis and a tumour in her eye adding to her worsening health, she became fragile after she lost her lag and eventually she couldn't take it anymore and laid down and didn't get up again.

Sassy didn't do well as an only dog, so along came Queenie, a precious little girl imported from Bosnia with no rehab or rescue back up. She was lucky, so lucky to land in Stoke, where Greyhound Gap and the amazing Lisa Cartwright took her in and rehabbed her. To be trusted with this precious girl is my greatest honour and while very timid, still struggling with a lot of trauma and very easily triggered, she is learning to trust me and is proving to be a very loyal and loving girl. Although that side eye is still very much in use with strangers.

Sassy passed on New Years Eve, having never got over the anaesthetic from an emergency dental just before Christmas. A devastating loss, I will never recover from.

Queenie has settled as an only dog and i am so grateful for her gentle dignity and love.

Ups and downs are part of life. On the upside my sisters have come back into my life and we are rebuilding our relationships with maturity and understanding. I am appreciative or their desire to reconnect and that they are trying to understand why I was such a difficult child. We are all learning a lot about each other and i am grateful for that.

Life has a habit of kicking up surprises and joys as well as sadness and loss. Hardest part is finding the joys when the sadness is all around.