PTSD

 I'm not going to talk about me here. I'm going to talk about dogs with PTSD.

Most rescue dogs have some issues with loss, fear, changing circumstances and confusion over new rules in a new home. All of us who have adopted dogs have dealt with the 3/3/3 rule, and have hopefully been successful in getting a dog to settle well and become a full member of the family.

Its more complicated if the dog has been abused or neglected for any length of time, or if they have been street dog. The lack of a full, accurate history of the dog means you have to guess what the triggers are, and that needs patience, calm, and love.

My girl Queenie was imported into the UK from Bosnia. Judging by her reaction on her arrival, it was believed that she had not been in a home at all or in a very long time. She was terrified, wouldn't go over the threshold, and when she finally did, she freaked out, tried to break through windows and was hurting herself to get away from these complete strangers.

Queenie was very lucky. Despite the importing rescue having no rescue backup in the UK, Greyhound Gap were on hand to help. These guys are heroes. Lisa, Sarah and the rest of the team work miracles with dogs every single day.

They worked a miracle with Queenie. She trusted no one. Wouldn't leave her kennel, would not engage with anyone for months. They persisted, because that is what they do. 

They took their time, going at her pace, giving her time to get used to new things, allowing her the chance to learn that they weren't a threat.

She was with Greyhound Gap for 10 months. Then I was entrusted with her. 

Her first few days were worrying for her. My greyhound, Sassy was a perfect gentleman and left her to do her own thing. Gradually she started to relax and settle, but didn't want to come for attention or cuddles. I was allowed to stroke her head occasionally. After 3 months, she would come for attention. She was less hypervigilant on our walks and began to enjoy herself. She was making really god progress with a lovely steady boy to give her confidence. 

Then Sassy passed away. 

We were both devastated. Queenie lost so much confidence. Her steady boy was gone. She had to negotiate the world alone. All she had was me. And she wasn't that fond of me.

But she decided that she'd let her guard down, little by little. It was a conscious decision on her part. She was deciding to trust me. And boy has she blossomed. It's not been smooth sailing. 

She gets triggered by dogs barking, gun shots in the distance, vehicle noises, building site noise. She does not want to make friends with new people, one person - me - is enough for her. There are dogs that she will say hello to. Steady girls who don't push at her, her favourites being Betty and Annie. Alice is new to her, but she was calm, so Queenie thought she was acceptable.

What I see when I walk her is a dog thinking about what is happening around her. Considering whether she is too afraid to stay out or whether she's feeling confident enough to carry on despite the triggering noises. 

With encouragement, love and calm handling, she has made the decision to trust me, to try new things, to be naughty (yes I encourage naughty, it shows she is relaxing and feeling confident, feels safe enough to push boundaries). I don't use discipline at all. Always positive encouragement. That's to only way to support a dog who has PTSD. I give her the space to not be triggered by everything, to try new things and not to push any issues she is currently struggling with. 

And because I have given her the space to decide for herself, she has given me her affection. She plays with toys (as long as there are treats in there!), she begs, ever so politely for morning toast and cheese. She snuggles up as I work on my knitting. She sleeps deeply and happily, dreaming, twitching and grunting in her sleep. This, for me is what dog rescue is all about. Not just being a suitable home, but giving your dog the change to recover, no matter how long it takes. And every day she chooses some new thing to do that shows me she trusts me a little more today and that she is happy with me. And that is all I've ever asked of her. What she gives me, every day, is joy. The joy of watching a flower bloom, little by little each day.

I have PTSD, and so does my dog. We are healing each other a little bit everyday. I am grateful for her and I hope that she is for me.