I fully intended having a good day today. Went to bed shattered last night and slept until 7.15, when I woke up feeling energetic and motivated. So much so I was out of bed by 8.30, put washing out, washed the pots, walked the dogs and had another load in the washer all by 12.
I was due a visit by the (un)friendly, neighbourhood Housing (Gruppenfurer) Officer about my 'overgrown' garden. A less sympathetic, understanding and tolerant pair I've not met since the last time I got queer bashed outside The Cossack back in the 80's.
Now I have a big issue with anxiety. Also I have a big issue with threatening letters from anyone. I don't give a flying fig-tree who you are, what your powers are, or even if it is a 'standard letter'. If you threaten me by post, what you get when you make an appointment to actually meet me is someone who is angry, frustrated, anxious, afraid and, to be honest, down right bloody rude. Be prepared for all of that to double up if you admit on the phone that the threats you have made in the 'standard letter' are actually empty ones, because you don't in fact have the power to do what you threatened in the letter.
So there they are on my doorstep. Oh they were NOT coming in my house. They were there to look at the garden. To actually come in my house I would need a weeks notice, a support worker, a mental health advocate and a fucking solicitor matey. So there you stay, on the doorstep. No hospitality for you. You can't be courteous to me by not sending threatening letters, then no way can I be courteous to you by inviting you in. I know better, I've watched every episode of Buffy and Angel. I know you don't invite the monsters in.
Apparently they are very happy that I have 'made a start' on the garden and that the weeds have now been cleared. What's the timetable for completing the garden?
I was gobsmacked. I have arthritis just about everywhere and a glass back alongside a Personality Disorder (which I'm still adjusting to the diagnosis of) depression, anxiety, PTSD, Bipolar Disorder, self esteem issues, being a survivor of childhood abuse and neglect, self harm issues, a history of drug and alcohol misuse, suicidal actuation and para-suicidal behaviour and general trust issues (though I really have NO CLUE where they come from). Really? You want someone who often can't get out of bed and feed herself to give you a timeline of when her garden is going to be acceptable to you? Incidentally, I have almost no income as I am shocking with money and most of my benefits are swallowed up by deductions for bills I've struggled to pay on time or at all, so I'm trying to sort the garden on ZERO budget, negative emotional energy and the physical capability of a mayfly with fibro and you want a timeline.
Cue blank disbelieving stare.
I went into the house and produced a copy of my GP report for my upcoming employment tribunal (more of that later). This explains in great detail what my mental health issues are.
I explained as patiently as I was able (so not very patiently at all) that they should never, ever send me threatening letters. Because these make me very anxious. That all communication should be by email, as I seem to never get the 'three previous letters'. That all emails will be acknowledged by me and if they aren't, should be resent. That I need help, not threats. That they asked me when they signed me up for the tenancy if I had any health issues, which I reported as they were known to me at the time. The housing Officer who signed me up was actually embarrassed and um'd and ah'd shuffling around on the spot when I spoke openly about my mental health. At no point did they offer me help or support with my tenancy, benefits advice, or available support for vulnerable tenants.
Why ask the damned question if there is nothing they are going to do with the answer, or is it simply a tick box exercise to prove they are caring landlords? Don't ask if you aren't also offering help, because I'm not going to improve your stats for nothing. You get extra money for hitting targets. I'll have some of that please, it is technically my money after all, as I do in fact pay council tax, and quite a high proportion of my rent.
So after they had gone, which was immediately after I terminated the meeting because I was about to get shouty out of sheer fury and frustration that they just didn't understand the stress they were putting me under, I sent them an email, asking what their expectations were with regard to the garden, as originally I was told simply to cut the grass on the front and clear the weeds at the back. Oh no, they said, its only if it gets overgrown again then i will have to contact them and give a timescale for when it will be done.
Erm, can I just explain again that if it gets overgrown again, its because my mental and physical health will have declined again, and there is no chance of me being in any state whatsoever to communicate with Herr Housing Officer, let alone advise when I will be able to get on top of the garden. How is this difficult to understand? Its not a won't communicate, its a can't communicate. I'm not uncooperative because I'm awkward (although to be honest for you two I would make an exception), I'm uncooperative because I am unwell, and I'm not ever going to get better. Would you be this unfeeling with someone who had become a wheelchair user? Had terminal cancer? Alzheimer's? Was just plain old? So why is it acceptable when someone is mentally ill?
So off you go the pair of you, educate yourselves on what you can do to support vulnerable, mentally ill people in their tenancies. Its not my job to tell you how to do this. you have policies, procedures and access to the internet. Go and Google it like normal people do.
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